Revision: Finding the Best Words

April 17, 2016April 17, 2016 Catherine Flynn4 Comments

By Herkulaneischer Meister via Wikimedia Commons

“Poetry: The best words in the best order”
~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge ~

Many writers rank revision right up there with root canals and colonoscopies, especially beginning writers. They’ve struggled to get their words down and now you’re asking them to change them?!? Or maybe they’ve hit upon a rhyme they think is perfect. Until you ask them what it means. Then they have to admit they really don’t know, but they like the way it sounds.

The magic of word processing has made the labor of revision much less overwhelming, but still it’s often hard for writers to let go of their words. (“Kill your darlings,” William Faulkner advised.)

This week I was working with a fifth grade student on a poem that had promise. His opening line had a nice rhythm and the second line had an effective repetition. Then came two lines he was really proud of. They rhymed, but he achieved that rhyme through weak, almost meaningless word choice that would stop readers in their tracks.

I began our conversation by reminding him that poems don’t have to rhyme. We had read many poems over the past week, immersing ourselves in persona poems and poems of address. A few rhymed, but most didn’t. Then I asked him to explain the lines to me, hoping he’d use some more effective vocabulary in his explanation. We spent a few minutes talking about what people often say when they lose things. (His poem was about an explorer searching for, but never finding, gold.) I asked him how he thought the explorer felt after expending all that time and energy for nothing.

Feeling like the explorer, I was getting frustrated trying to uncover a nugget of anything that made sense, but still coming up empty-handed. I tried hard not to put words in his mouth, but it was clear he didn’t have the vocabulary to say what he wanted to say. In the end, with the help of a thesaurus and a rhyming dictionary, he found the words he was looking for, even though I still had to explain some of the meanings to him. Was that cheating? I hope not. Because I think he learned some valuable lessons in the process. Now he has a better understanding of the words “sorrow” and “woe.” More importantly, he recognized how much better his poem sounded after making changes. His hard work of revision paid off.

What lessons were there for me in this whole process? I considered flat out banning rhymes in our next round of poems, but that limits student choice, doesn’t it? Maybe a better approach would be to study poems with rhyme more closely to discover what makes them work. And as always, it comes down to more writing. Because the more we write, the better the chance we’ll find the best word, and have the skills to put them in the best order.

Every Sunday, Margaret Simon of Reflections on the Teche invites teachers and writers to reflect on digital literacy, teaching, and writing. Please visit her there to read more about revision.

Poetry Friday: Laughter Across the Years

April 7, 2016April 10, 2016 Catherine Flynn17 Comments

Hats off to all of you who’ve been writing a poem each day in celebration of National Poetry Month. I have been working on a couple of long-term projects that have made it impossible to keep up with all the inspiring projects people have going. I admire your fortitude and creativity.

Today’s poem was initially inspired by Mary Lee Hahn‘s project, Bygones. When I started writing, though, I soon saw how this could work for Marilyn Singer’s April ditty challenge at Michelle Heidenrich Barnes’s blog to write a “poem inspired by the word ‘echo.'”

Laughter from two little boys
echoes across the years:

On your first set of wheels
you pedal down the garden path,
feet pumping
hands gripping
heart soaring

A glint of mischief in your eyes
An impish grin across your face

your heart soaring
hands gripping
feet pumping
as you pedal down the garden path
on your first set of wheels

your laughter echoing across the years.

Please be sure to visit Laura Purdie Salas at Writing the World for Kids for the Poetry Friday Roundup.

Another Small Object Poem

April 3, 2016April 3, 2016 Catherine Flynn3 Comments

Early in March, Amy Ludwig VanDerwater challenged the readers of Today’s Little Ditty, Michelle Heidenrich Barnes’s blog, to write a poem about a small object. I immediately thought of this little hen that had sat on my grandmother’s what-not for years.

Then I tried to write a poem about it. That turned out not to be so easy. Throughout the month I wrote other small object poems, but kept thinking about this one. This morning I finally wrestled it into something I’m mostly satisfied with. In the spirit of all the poets who are writing a poem a day this month, I’m sharing draft number twenty-one.

Unlike the biddies nesting
out in our chicken coop,
you roost upon a bed of glass
instead of sweet, fresh hay.

You’re always poised and calm,
never cluck-cluck-clucking
or ruff-ruff-ruffling
your milky white feathers
when I lift you off your nest.

For it isn’t speckled eggs
you’re keeping safe and warm.
The eggs I find rainbow-hued.
You’re hatching jelly beans!

These pressed glass hens were also made of white milk glass, so I took some poetic license with my model so the surprise made more sense.

My friend Margaret Simon challenged me to write a poem each day in April with her. She has written and shared her poems at her blog, Reflections on the Teche. Be sure to visit her to read her inspiring words.

Poetry Friday: A Day Full of Poetry

April 1, 2016April 1, 2016 Catherine Flynn8 Comments

“The best-laid schemes o’ mice an ‘men
Gang aft agley”
~ Robert Burns ~

I started working on the poem I planned to share today on Monday. I drafted two versions and played with them both throughout the week. I recorded different lines on my phone on the way to work. But when I sat down last night, nothing worked. The poem just wouldn’t come together and it’s still a muddled mess.

My day was filled with poetry, though. I shared Amy Ludwig VanDerwater’s poem, “Wonder,” with teachers at our Language Arts Committee meeting this morning:

“Wonder”

Water the wonder
that lives in your brain.

Water your wonder
with questions like rain.

Read the rest of the poem, and more about Amy’s 2016 poetry project, here.

Then the principal and I read this Douglas Florian poem during morning announcements:

Find this poem and more poetry ideas in Penguin's Guide to Poetry in the Classroom here. — Find this poem and more poetry ideas in *Penguin’s Guide to Poetry in the Classroom* here.

I shared many poems with my students throughout the day, but didn’t have a minute to think about my own poem. By the time I left work, my prime writing hours were long gone. The weather was writing it’s own poem, though. Dark gray clouds piled up in the northwest, while the sky was still bright blue in to the south. Impatient rain drops were falling and the wind was picking up. It was a gorgeous sight that made me think of this Emily Dickinson poem:

“A Drop fell on the Apple Tree” (794)

A Drop fell on the Apple Tree –
Another – on the Roof –
A Half a Dozen kissed the Eaves –
And made the Gables laugh –

A few went out to help the Brook
That went to help the Sea –
Myself Conjectured were they Pearls –
What Necklaces could be –

The Dust replaced, in Hoisted Roads –
The Birds jocoser sung –
The Sunshine threw his Hat away –
The Bushes – spangles flung –

The Breezes brought dejected Lutes –
And bathed them in the Glee –
The Orient showed a single Flag,
And signed the fête away –

Emily Dickinson

Please be sure to visit Amy Ludwig VanDerwater at her lovely blog, The Poem Farm, for the Poetry Friday Roundup.

Slice of Life: Playing with Haiku

March 29, 2016March 29, 2016 Catherine Flynn6 Comments

“Attentiveness is your main tool in life.”
~ Jim Harrison ~

There is a kaleidoscope sitting on my desk this afternoon. When I saw it in the store, it reminded me of one my grandmother had at her house when I was little. So I bought it. I also thought my nephews would have fun with it when they visit.

When I got it home, I held it up to the light to watch the colorful patterns unfold. The plastic beads reminded me of snowflakes, but because they’re colorful, they also reminded me of flowers. This seemed like the spark of a poem to me.

I wrote several drafts, but wasn’t happy with them. Sometimes when I’m stuck, I read a few poems or flip through books about writing to clarify my thoughts. In her book Writing Toward Home: Tales and Lessons to Find Your Way (Heinemann, 1995), Georgia Heard writes “the beauty of haiku is its brevity; it teaches you to use words more clearly and truthfully.

Here is my attempt to “spin [my] observations…as quickly and accurately as possible.”

Colorful snowflakes
blossom like flowers inside
my kaleidoscope.

This does capture my impression pretty accurately. Haiku isn’t my favorite form, but once I start thinking about them, they pop into my head. Here are a few more:

White birds swoop and swerve
over the river at dawn,
eyes peeled for a meal.

Warmed by bright sunshine
lilac buds grow fat and green,
chasing gray away.

By photo taken by H. Pellikka (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html), CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/) or CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons — By photo taken by H. Pellikka (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html), CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

I originally wrote this final haiku two years ago, but I wanted to share it again:

Slices of life:
Pieces of hearts on the page.
Stories connect us.

Thank you to Stacey, Tara, Dana, Betsy, Anna, Beth, Kathleen, and Deb for this space for teachers and others to share their stories each Tuesday throughout the year and every day during the month of March. Be sure to visit Two Writing Teachers to read more Slice of Life posts.

Slice of Life: Poetry Collections I Love

March 27, 2016March 27, 2016 Catherine Flynn7 Comments

“Poetry reaffirms our common humanity by revealing to us that individuals, everywhere in the world, share the same questions and feelings.”
United Nations website
World Poetry Day announcement

Last week I shared a list of my favorite read-alouds. I realized, though, that there was no poetry on that list! Because poetry is meant to be read aloud, and because National Poetry Month is right around the corner, I decided poetry deserved its own list.

Early in my teaching career, my poetry collection consisted of Shel Silverstein’s Where the Sidewalk Ends, Jack Prelutsky’s The New Kid on the Block, and The Random House Book of Poetry. Thanks to the Scholastic book order, my collection started expanding to include collections by individual poets. My choices tended toward poetry about animals and nature, and Kristine O’Connell George and Marilyn Singer quickly became favorites.

Today my poetry collection takes up two long shelves in my bookcase. Here are a few of my favorites, both old and new.

Edited anthologies with selections by many poets:

Piping Down the Valleys Wild, edited by Nancy Larrick
Read-Aloud Rhymes for the Very Young, edited by Jack Prelutsky
National Geographic Book of Animal Poetry, edited by J. Patrick Lewis
National Geographic Book of Nature Poetry, edited by J. Patrick Lewis
Another Jar of Tiny Stars: Poems by More NCTE Award Winning Poets, edited by Beatrice Cullinan & Deborah Wooten
Knock at a Star: A Child’s Introduction to Poetry, edited by X.J. Kennedy
A Kick in the Head: An Everyday Guide to Poetic Forms, edited by Paul B. Janeczko
The Tree That Time Built: A Celebration of Nature, Science, and Imagination, edited by Mary Ann Hoberman
A Pet for Me: Poems, edited by Lee Bennett Hopkins (any collection edited by Hopkins is a treasure; Don’t miss Renée LaTulippe’s wonderful spotlight on him here.)
Any of the Poetry Friday Anthologies, edited by Sylvia Vardell and Janet Wong

Collections by individual poets:

A Writing Kind of Day, by Ralph Fletcher
Joyful Noise: Poems for Two Voices, by Paul Fleischman
Hailstones and Halibut Bones, by Mary O’Neill
A Stick is an Excellent Thing: Poems Celebrating Outdoor Play, by Marilyn Singer (Marilyn’s collections of reversos are also not to be missed!)
A Maze Me: Poems for Girls, by Naomi Shihab Nye
An Egret’s Day, by Jane Yolen
In the Spin of Things: Poetry of Motion, by Rebecca Kai Dotlich
You Read to Me, I’ll Read to You, by Mary Ann Hoberman (any book in this series)
Everything is a Poem: The Best of J. Patrick Lewis, by J. Patrick Lewis
Handsprings, by Douglas Florian
When the Sun Shines of Antarctica, by Irene Latham

This list just scratches the surface of the multitudes of wonderful poetry collections available from these poets and more. My 2015 Picture Book 10 for 10 post features more of my favorites.

Books for teachers and students about poetry:

Awakening the Heart: Exploring Poetry in Elementary and Middle School, by Georgia Heard
For the Good of the Sun and the Earth: Teaching Poetry, by Georgia Heard
Poetry Matters, by Ralph Fletcher
Seeing the Blue Between: Advice and Inspiration for Young Poets, edited by Paul B. Janeczko
Pass the Poetry, Please!, by Lee Bennett Hopkins

There are also many websites that feature poets, poetry, and ideas for teaching poetry. A Year of Reading, Mary Lee Hahn and Franki Sibberson’s must-read blog, lists links to the weekly Poetry Friday Roundup. This is a great place to begin learning more about all things poetic.

(Edited to add) Here’s another great resource from Amy Ludwig VanDerwater’s top-notch blog, The Poem Farm: NCTE’s 2016 Notable Poetry List

What are your favorite poetry collections and resources?

Another Poetry Friday Slice of Life: A Galaxy of Seed Pods

March 25, 2016 Catherine Flynn18 Comments

“The world will freely offer itself to you unasked. It has no choice. It will roll in ecstasy at your feet.”
~ Franz Kafka ~

On Monday, I shared images and ideas I had gathered during a walk. Today I’m sharing a poem inspired by one of the sights nature offered to me.

A galaxy of seed pods,
barbed, earthy brown orbs,
shiver in the morning breeze.

In my notebook, I have two pages of drafts and lists of words about these sweet gum seed pods. Nothing was working until I asked myself what it was about this tree caught my attention in the first place. Although you can’t tell from the photo, it was quite breezy and these little balls were dancing in the wind. I immediately thought they looked like little suns, even though the color was wrong. Most of the drafts were much longer, but when I came back to them to write this post, these lines stood out. They captured the essence of that tree at that moment.

Slice of Life: Prospecting for Poetry

March 21, 2016March 21, 2016 Catherine Flynn14 Comments

I’m still in Virginia visiting my son, so writing time has been limited. But I did have time to go out for a walk this morning.

Taking walks is like going on a treasure hunt. I never know what I’ll find or what I’ll see that will spark an idea or a line of what might turn out to be a poem. I have my phone with me so I can take pictures so images will be fresh in my mind. My phone is new and I’m not completely used to it yet, so I ended up taking short videos as well as photos. This is a happy accident because now I have sounds to go along with my images.

Objects I found on my walk this morning.

It’s quite breezy here this morning, and any left over leaves from last fall were skittering across the road as I began my walk. Forsythia is in bloom, crab apple, pear, and weeping cherry trees are blossoming, grass is turning green, and magnolias are loaded with fat buds. Birds are busy doing what birds do: singing, soaring, feathering, flocking.

When I get home to Connecticut, I’ll sift through these ideas and images, like a miner panning for gold. I’m pretty sure there’s a nugget of something bigger in here.

This is a perfect activity for students of all ages. Every season is unique, but what better time than spring to go out and see nature in all its glory, when, in the words of Mary Oliver, “the world offers itself to [the] imagination” of poets young and old.

Slice of Life: “Breakfast of the Birds”

March 18, 2016March 18, 2016 Catherine Flynn17 Comments

Earlier this week, Tricia Stohr-Hunt posted this painting, by Gabriele Münter, on her blog, The Miss Rumphius Effect:

Gabriele Münter, Breakfast of the Birds, 1934; © 2012 Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York / VG Bild-Kunst, Bonn - See more at: http://nmwa.org/works/breakfast-birds#sthash.eKbv2uZn.dpuf — Gabriele Münter, Breakfast of the Birds, 1934; © 2012 Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York / VG Bild-Kunst, Bonn – See more at: http://nmwa.org/works/breakfast-birds#sthash.eKbv2uZn.dpuf

Tricia invited her readers to write an ekphrastic poem to go along with this painting. I was intrigued by the contrast between the birds socializing outside and the woman sitting down by herself inside. Here is my response:

This morning our old
chestnut tree,
the one you planted
all those years ago,
is wrapped in a cloak
of fine white snow.

Goldfinches and robins,
like confetti scattered in
celebration of the coming spring,
brighten its branches
as they serenade me:
“cheer-up, cheer-up, cheer-up.”

How do they know
that some days are worse than others,
and that this morning,
I miss you more than ever?

Slice of Life: Time to Read

March 17, 2016March 17, 2016 Catherine Flynn12 Comments

“The greatest part of a writer’s time is spent in reading, in order to write;
a man will turn over half a library to make one book.”
~ Samuel Johnson ~

I thought of this quote when I read “Unbalanced Literacy: Reflections on the Common Core” by Thomas Newkirk in the March issue of Language Arts yesterday. If you have access to this journal, I highly recommend reading this piece. Newkirk includes this quote from Michel de Montaigne, which I love:

“Bees ransack flowers here and flowers there: but then they make their own honey, which is entirely theirs and no longer thyme or marjoram. Similarly the boy will transform his borrowings; he will confound their forms so that the end-product is entirely his.”

Newkirk included this quote to support his view of reading as a “transaction between reader and text,” but it applies to writing also.

Halfway through this month-long challenge, I feel desperate for time to just sit and read, for time to “ransack” a book, to borrow words and transform them into something entirely mine. My morning waiting for the furnace repairman yesterday made me crave this even more. When you have a taste of something delicious, you want more! (Furnace is working again, by the way.) The slices I’ve been reading are amazing and full of inspiration, but I miss having time to read a book. What to do? Write a quick slice about what I’m reading, then go read.

I usually have three or four books going at the same time. Here’s what’s on my nightstand today:

Silver People: Voices from the Panama Canal, by Margarita Engle (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2014)

Echo, Echo: Reverso Poems about Greek Myths, by Marilyn Singer (Dial Books for Young Readers, 2016)

The Poetry Home Repair Manual: Practical Advice for Beginning Poets, by Ted Kooser (University of Nebraska Press, 2007)

What book(s) is/are on your nightstand? Happy ransacking (reading), everyone!

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